Worn Out Leggings and Pink Moto Jackets

There’s a lot of talk out there about decluttering and that’s all well and good.  But the decluttering that fascinates me is the soul type decluttering when people - okay I - put out on the curb old mental habits that spark woe.  Like worn out leggings that bind AND are see-through, or gold and hot pink moto jackets that served a purpose a very very long time ago, or anything with a waistband or requiring foundation garments, old ideas about how it’s supposed to be and how I’m supposed to be or how you’re supposed to be or we’re supposed to be that aren’t part of the solution are officially part of the problem.

And I’m bagging them up, not recycling or reusing or upcycling or rethinking - just putting them out.  Out out out.  Making space for the new — really.  Or space for what feels better, even good, a lot of the time.

It’s been a while that I’ve been on this patience, tolerance, kindness, and love for myself and others kick.  Like #PTKL is the preferred filter for my thoughts and actions and seems to consistently produce better outcomes than that old not-good-enough-itis type mindset, the one where if it’s this it could be this-plus, or if it’s that it could be that-and.  That grinding inner criticism masquerading as self-improvement is simply unhelpful.  Not evil, not a monster, just outdated.  Like that pencil skirt.  Not a staple of anything authentic to me or my current life.

But even though the #PTKL thing has been getting use on the daily, it’s kind of been an add-on, like the comfy flip flops that get shoved into a corner of the hallway while the stilettos occupy a nice shelf in the closet.  The stilettos being the theoretically more prized, more beautiful, preferred shoe, while the shoes I actually wear and feel good in are second-class citizens without a nice shelf.  Like I’d hide them away if I were gonna put house pics up on Insta.  If I insta’d.  Or took home pics.

But anyway, there are a lot of people displaying a lot of nice looking shoes these days, and I’m not talking about shoes but rather lives.  Photoshopped lives, aspirational lives, social-media worthy lives, hard-to-live lives.  I do it too, maybe even more toxically because it seems really real, and it is, a lot of it is, somewhat real, but it’s also a small slice, and a moment.  I try not to judge my entire cake based on the small slice of what other people show me, but the slices leak in.  I seek them out.  

I don’t want to look at people less fortunate or attractive.  I like to look at people who seem more fortunate, more attractive, and it’s all fun and escapist until I start feeling frumpy in the flip flops that work perfectly for my life.  

And I like this life, the whole cake. And it’s okay as it is, it doesn’t need to be different.  The feeling that it does is my false self talking, and it’s worn out and doesn’t fit.  So one option is to ptkl this life, ptkl myself, and clear out a whole shelf for that, maybe the whole closet.  I’m gonna give it a whirl!!!