Maybe a Stir-Fry
The opening up of so much, along with the summertime vibe heating up has jimmied things around in my head just enough to realize — to allow myself to feel — like WTF covid really stinks a lot and I’m sick of it. We personally are not done taking precautions that many around us don’t seem to be doing anymore. I explain we are practicing near-zero risk rather than low risk but frankly I’m fed up, I’m pent up, and, as Kesha suggests, “This place about to blow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!” Meaning me. Meaning I’m about to blow. Meaning I feel that way, but I don’t need to act that way.
But I’m no saint. Mike gets to bear the brunt of my fed up-ness, which, because I have a program, looks like me buying these new artisanal yoga blocks from our local studio and stomping around saying things like, “Maybe it’s time to reduce my antidepressants now that it’s getting sunnier out!” Or, “Maybe I’ll do a juice cleanse before our birthdays!” And, “Why don’t we just sell it all and go live on the land!!! Look at this place on Zillow”
The total itchiness and malaise and hunger for drama is cyclical. I know it, he knows it. But it feels so real this time, this desire to let loose — And man don’t we deserve it? We’ve been sooooo goooooood this whooooooole tiiiiiiiimmmmmeeeee. And then he’ll rattle off effing data about it’s not over yet.
So Big Girl Me kinda knows my SSRI dose is my dose and screwing with it is no fun at all, juice cleanses just make me grouchy and, ultimately, craving of animal fats, and living on the land is great conceptually, and for other people. Not me.
So where do I go to get that sense of freedom in a way that doesn’t blow up everything? Or, more accurately, in a way that allows me to still do pick up and drop off and house stuff and work stuff and school stuff and all the adulting stuff this comfy cozy life we have affords?
Today I got so desperate I did a thirty minute online yoga. It helped a bit. I might deep condition my hair, or Brownie’s, or Ax’s. Hell, maybe Mike’s if he’ll let me. Family home spa day. It could happen. Maybe I’ll zoom in a girlfriend. Maybe I’ll make a stir fry and see what happens tomorrow. I’m gonna keep going.
www.livingeveryminiteofit.com
www.combatcovidstress.com
