From Ouch to Ahhh

So there are little adjustments that can make all the difference between ouch and ahh. Physically, emotionally, energetically, and every which way. Thing is, when I’m in a habit of doing things one way, or thinking about things one, maybe two ways, I might not be able to even see a path to ahh much less follow it.

To move from ouch to ahh, for me, requires a few things: A) I need to notice I’m in ouch, or at least something less than ahh in some aspect B) I need to decide that I’d rather feel better, and that there’s a possibility I could feel better (hope) C) I need to decide to do something different D) I need to be willing to do something different E) I need to take action F) I need to have patience to see if that action has made a difference G) I need to repeat A-F, trying different stuff, for as long as it takes to get to Ahh.

Faith, patience, guides, helpers, cheerleaders, and commitment to one’s own well-being, as a family member, community member, and human race member, help. But they can’t do A-G for me. Only I can do A-G. I need to decide that things could be better, that I want them to be better, and that I’m willing to do what it takes to make it so. Despite fear. Despite inertia. Despite some weird inner voice second-guessing everything and telling me I’m not worth it.

When I’m in a good place, it’s obvious to me that I can contribute more to others, and that that has a positive snowball effect where we all benefit. I like that good place. It’s obvious there.

When I get out of a good place, for whatever reason, illness, injury, natural disaster, cyclical change, cold weather, when I’m in ouch, or non-ahh, it can seem overwhelming, too much, to think about what it would take to get to ahh, much less to do it. When it’s ouch, my ambitions get reduced to just trying to get through the day.

I’ve been through the cycles of ouch/ahh/ouch/ahh many times, on bigger and smaller scales. I have friends who have too. We agree that the only person who really can help us make the move is ourselves.

People, loved ones, professionals, can give good advice, recommend well-intentioned books, procedures, medications, spa treatments, recipes, whatever, but ultimately, somehow, something inside says, “Ok, it’s time to feel better than this.” And then I have to hold on to that step by step, ask for help, take the help, and keep going.

Sometimes clearing the dining room table of papers feels as good as getting a pony. Sometimes taking a walk, or not taking a walk, can change the day. Sometimes it takes more. I’m gonna keep going.

Throwback from March 15, 2018