Beyond B.S.
My friend Esmeralda was telling me her kid Octavio Jr. (Tav) is watching too much tv and is not enthusiastic enough about the daily living room calisthenics she’s been pushing and so he’s bulking up in an unacceptable way. Hearing this, I felt bad for Tav, and bad for Esmeralda.
It sucks to feel disappointed in my kid, and it sucks to feel disappointed in myself as a parent and as a person. These days I’ve also been enjoying more tv and less exercise. Some days I feel crappy about it, some days I revel in it.
My experience is that feeling disappointed in myself or my kid has not been very helpful to either of us having a nice time or achieving any meaningful, sustainable goals. Like yeah I want to be healthy and feel good but hammering myself or others is not the path to that. Gentle hammering is also hammering.
Basically, what I’m saying is that for me I have learned that my kid and my life turn out much better when I get beyond the B.S. What am I trying to do here? I’m trying to keep my kid alive and keep him from being suicidal. And oh yeah, that’s my goal for me too.
Everything else is gravy, dealer’s choice, up for grabs, choose your own adventure. After survival it’s all bonus.
Doesn’t mean don’t give a whirl to veganism, learning Mandarin, getting ripped abs, feeding the homeless, building a model skyscraper out of found objects, planting a garden, becoming a lawyer, becoming a contortionist, becoming a hairdresser, becoming a llama farmer (herder?) or whatever. Yeah, maybe a trampoline will be great. Maybe hiking on Sunday. Let’s get a puppy! Let’s move off-grid! Blonde hair, brown hair, grey hair, green hair, no hair, no pants, no carbs, all-in, all good.
What hasn’t killed me has made me stronger. My kid is alive. I’m alive. We’re totally NOT suicidal. We have feelings, sometimes enjoyable, sometimes less enjoyable, sometimes, for me, historically, rather dark. But not fatal.
And so I choose to enjoy what there is to be enjoyed, as it is, as I am, as my kid is, as you are today. Sometimes I forget to choose that and I get reminded. We’re in this together. Beyond the B.S. that’s my truth. I’m gonna keep going.
www.livingeveryminuteofit.com
www.combatcovidstress.com
