Checking In

I started this blog about six years ago to have a place for my secret writings to live in an organized way and not get lost in dozens of different journals, files, napkins, etc.  One day I started letting my husband read it. Then a couple of good friends. I remember thinking, “Holy moly there are like eleven people reading me now!  How did this get so out of control?!?” 

I felt scared and embarrassed to reveal my thoughts to others, but also kind of warmed by the being seen and read.  Plus people have said nice things.

I’d been hiding in plain sight for a long time.  The feeling of being read is a gift I did not feel comfortable seeking because I didn’t feel I had anything helpful or useful to say.  

One day I decided to take the plunge and go public — just put my blog up on Facebook for all who cared to see it, not a business or anything but just, here I am, here’s what’s up, checking in, kinda thing.

I used to think, “Once I have something really earth-shattering and brilliant to say,” then I’d write.  That it would be wrong to inflict my unfiltered meanderings on others.

But you readers have helped me feel that the is-ness that is me, how I am, unfolding, picking up snippets and habits and tools and putting them down, picking them up again, over and over, living this life, is pretty relatable.  That I’m doing that with you, we’re doing this together, doing our best, whatever that looks like, and it’s okay — it’s fabulous.  We’ve been keeping going together.  

So lately I’ve not been posting a lot, and I’m missing that connection so I did want to check in.  And I wanted to thank you for reading and keeping me company on this ride. You are a gift to me.  I’m gonna keep going.

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