No White Chocolate Chips
The chop of my moods on day so-effing-long-and-still-going of our physical isolation is pretty heavy. It’s like, way dark and intolerant and judge-y one minute and then grateful butterflies and moonbeams and I can’t believe how lucky we are to not be sick or homeless or without utilities the next.
Like from, “Mike, do you know where we can get cyanide pills just in case?”
To, “Wow I can’t believe how good this vegan chili I made tastes! Check it out!”
So it’s kinda interesting that in a relatively static stimulus situation my internal state can shift dramatically from one moment to the next.
My menfolk are not that way, and I don’t need them to be. And it’s nice because they don’t need me to be different from how I am either, as long as I don’t take it out on them.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe how okay and sort of mellow they really are with our life as we knew it fairly changed and living in this constant death shadow.
I said to Ax the other day, looking at him pointedly as he worked a lego build, “How are you doing, honey?”
“Good,” he said, giving his standard answer, with standard nonplussed tone, building.
“Really?” I asked, concerned.
“Yes.” Came easy confirmation from the 8-year-old who has had no live play dates, no ball sports, no school normalcy for weeks.
“Ok.” I said.
He paused, attached a tiny single-dot piece to a dragon spike. Then added, “Well, there was this one thing I was sad about yesterday.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, what?”
“There were white chocolate chips in my pancakes — they were terrible!”
“I’m sorry baby. How were today’s pancakes?”
“Good. They had normal chips.”
“Ok, so what I’m hearing is you like the dark chocolate chips and not the new white chocolate chips.”
“Yeah, I like the dark ones.”
“Ok, got it. I’m sorry, we won’t do that again.”
“Ok.”
And then he went back to playing.
What I’m finding is a little normal goes a long way. Now is not a good time for a brand new initiative for me, or for my family, as much as in some ways it would seem like the perfect time.
More yoga, more naps, more LEGO. More joy, more love, more living in the light. More vegan chili. More nature, but not in a task-mastery have-to way. More easy.
And more right action, staying the course with our isolation practices and supporting others with theirs. And no new-fangled chocolate chips. Just the normal chips. I’m gonna keep going.
www.livingeveryminuteofit.com
