Best. Gift. Ever.

It continues to astound me how radically better I feel when I actually do my daily practices every day.  And the morning ones in the morning, the evening ones in the evening.

When I bookend my day with my personalized routine, which continues to evolve but has a few not surprising components, the in-between part of the day flows much better.

I’ve been told this truth a couple of (hundred) times, and yet, I continue to be an experiential learner, ebbing and flowing in and out of consistent self-care.  

But it’s getting better, bit by bit.  Like for example, just now — just like, a minute ago — I was feeling out-of-sorts, jumpy, like maybe I needed to go buy a bunch of future-landfill gifts for folks in my life who don’t need gifts like that from me or take care of a bunch of admin that doesn’t actually need to get done today, or maybe start that bestseller I want to have written but don’t want to write, or, or, or.  

And then I remembered it has been a couple of days since I blogged and so perhaps sitting, talking to you, telling you where I am at, is more important and pressing than any of that other stuff just because.  Because it’s part of my routine that I know is helpful.  Don’t know why.  Don’t need to know why.  Know that it is.  And that I get to.

And so here I am sitting and feeling my brain race ease a bit, breathing slowing a bit, noticing — ah, it’s maybe time for lunch soon — noticing the radical freedom of resisting the urge to run around buying stuff or doing stuff in order to feel less uncomfortable or anxious.  Like if I just keep busy I’ll be okay.

But I won’t be as okay as I will be if I stop all that external chasing.  When I’m chasing ease from outside I don’t notice when what I need is a snack and a nap more than anything.  Permission to be, just here sharing my scary truth, that I’m doing almost none of that running around or chasing the next big thing stuff or even aspiring to do those things and the people who love me love me anyway (or maybe more because I’m more available?)  

And I am feeling more love for and connection with people in my life than I have in holiday seasons past.  More ease with me being me, with them being them, as we are, all together, all wanting to give and to receive love as we are, being ourselves.  Best. Gift. Ever.  I’m gonna keep going.

www.livingeveryminuteofit.com