Livin’ La Vida Vegan
I totally skipped the part where Mike went to this workshop with Dean Ornish and Dan Siegel and a bunch of other multi-degreed brainiacs and came back spewing science — even more than usual — and with a lot of passion and awe. “They are so totally awesome!” He said, well, he doesn’t actually ever talk like that but that was the jist. “They did a completely randomized peer-reviewed blah blah di blah blah science science science thing and everyone was about to die — they were basically dead — but then they did this that and that plus numerator denominator of these and they didn’t die and instead they all survived and went on to become elite triathletes and lived to be over one hundred — but much healthier than normal hundred-year-olds. Like, athletic, thriving hundred-and-something-year-olds. So now I am going to science science science program program program graph blah blah and also, every other Thursday do focused, targeted, biddity babety boop so that I can be a hundred-plus-year-old triathlete.”
“That’s wonderful, my love.” I said, supportively.
“You do not have to join me. It’s totally okay if you want to age quickly and die sick and diseased and yucky. I will stay with you anyway.”
“Thank you my love, that is so non-co-dependent and beautiful and respecting of my individuality.”
“I mean, obviously I would prefer you be happy and healthy and bodacious-ly full of long telemeters like me and these superstar brainiacs, but it is completely your choice because I love you and respect your right to be a dumb-ass part of the problem, chronically inflamed, hormonally-challenged, sub-optimized life form.”
“Got it babe, that’s so sweet. Do we get to watch tv and snuggle now or do we need to pull an all-nighter soaking beans or something to get ready for transformation?”
“According to a study in Sweden people who snuggle live 82.7% longer than non-snugglers, so I’m in!”
“That’s hot, babe.” I said, and then we snuggled. I was not even worried that Mike was quite possibly thinking of Swedish neuroscientists while snuggling with me. That’s how much I love him.
Plus, I’m thinking I can probably find some studies from somewhere that say bringing the wife breakfast-in-bed is life-enhancing and I’ll be on a pro-science high too.
In the meantime, it’s day six for me of eating vegan, low fat, no processed sugar, and I’m feeling surprisingly non-horrible, verging on good.
I’m not sure whether or not my telemeters have actually lengthened yet but my skin looks quite glowy and it’s possible, possible, that my sleep has improved. Though the better sleep could be due to hearing about double-blind fat mice studies. Or double-fat blind mice studies?
Anyway, we’ll see what day seven of vegan-ing holds. I’m gonna keep going.
www.livingeveryminuteofit.com
