More Kittens Indicated?

So I got three kittens, and they are keeping me pretty occupied with feeding, poop scooping, playing, keeping them indoors, and integrating them physically and emotionally with Brownie the dog.  Still, three kittens are not enough kittens to absorb the grief of getting divorced from Mike this past year.

Ya, we did that. It was the right decision, but I still regret it. I can hold both the grief and the resignation to reality at the same time.

And we are having a “good” divorce, friendly, co-parenting, family-ish. But still, change is hard. Three kittens are distracting and pre-occupying, but only so far.  Kitten-tending feels a little like taking up gardening, only different, because cats not plants. They need daily everything, and kind of a lot of it, at least for now.

In the wake of our split I had fantasies of moving, of getting in better shape, of writing that best-seller that would help with the human condition.

And then, instead, or maybe just, before all that, I got kittens. I wanted the home to feel full, less empty. I wanted little beings to snuggle me and love me and let me love them. I wanted someone to care for without the vagaries of human connection.

And I’ve gotten what I thought I wanted, but it’s not how I envisioned it. I made the best decision I could with the information I had. I’m gonna keep going.

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