Everything Always Works Out For Me - Part 2
So I was walking Brownie with my Law of Attraction friend/coach Kate yesterday and she’d read my post. “Great job,” or something like that, she said. And continued, “and you can control how it works out,” she said.
Well, here’s where I hit the brakes. A) I’m out of the control business (on a good day), B) the idea that actual external circumstances can be shaped by my thoughts — as opposed to my experience of those external circumstances being shaped by my thoughts — I’m just not there.
Part of why I’m not there is a kind of guilt/shame combo of - if I can control my life, then when it’s not how I want it to be it’s a failure kind of thing. The other part is a sort of aversion to blaming the victim - like people who happen to be born in war-stricken places or places without clean water have manifested that, no.
BUT as I said yesterday, desperate to feel better more of the time, so resistant, but open, to new ideas, or old ideas in new packaging. What we got down to, on that walk, what I could get behind and swallow, was that a mental kind of “setting the stage” or gearing up is helpful to improving a situation.
For example, I’ve been feeling lonely and uncertain about Ax going and watching YouTube in his room in the evenings. My default inner dialogue is something like, “I’m ruining him letting him watch YouTube every night plus what am I doing with my life I don’t want to go out and leave him but why am I home if he’s just in his room?” So with consciousness I can say something like, “I am an awesome mom giving my kid the security of a parent at home while he has solo time and privacy. Our home is so cozy.”
Obviously I’m just getting the hang of this inner dialogue thing but it does work if I work it. And that controlling my thoughts part is the part of the control I can get behind 100%. I’m gonna keep going.
Me:
www.livingeveryminuteofit.com
Coach Kate:
