It’s Amazing/Deep Inner Knowing

Some time ago I realized that I had a habit of overriding or second-guessing my deep inner knowing in favor of … many things. My chronic not-good-enough-itis, combined with type A striver ethos seemed incapable of allowing that emaciated soul muscle to flex and develop.

I didn’t realize that every time I did what I didn’t want to do, or rallied, or pushed through was an insult to source and a kind of rejection of the natural order of things. I didn’t connect the dots that constant motion and activity, along with needing to drink “to take the edge off” were indicators that my externally shiny life was not internally appropriate for me.

The journey towards feeling better more of the time began with that noticing. Noticing the clench in the stomach, the need to energetically or chemically boost myself, the aversion to free time, and then slowly, slowly, but by bit, reclaim my life and my relationships so they suit me and not my idea of what I think I should be.

And no one has died or disowned me so far, and none of the other things I feared have come to pass either. In fact, my relationships with the people I love have radically improved, and they were okay before. I get to walk comfortably through my daily life, without craving or needing all the kinds of escape, validation, or distraction I used to crave. It’s amazing. I’m gonna keep going.

www.lifecoachsascha.com

p.s. When craving for these creeps up I know there’s inner work to do: shopping, (over/under)eating, tv, phone, romance, travel, interpersonal drama, drink n drugs, exercise … What are your warning signs?