Mood Makeover

I’ve not been blogging so much because frankly that chirpy perky voice I prefer hasn’t been super-accessible and inflicting the darkness on y’all just seems self-indulgent and unhelpful.  In short, I’m reticent to reveal certain aspects of self, I prefer the sun to the shade, the crest to the crash, the chorus to the verse.  And yet, and yet, we all frigging know they go together.  It all goes together.

BUT there is a culture of, a belief that, if I’m down I should be doing something to get UP.  And I share that belief.  It’s not comfortable following the advice of some to “let it be”.  So I’m embarking on (another) mood makeover — more of a project than an attitude adjustment, less of a project than blowing up everyone and everything and moving to Bali.

What I did, first of all, is decide that my mood was the common denominator in my experience of the world.  Next, I said to myself, “Self, what has worked in the past to bump that mood up?”

Then I forced myself, forced myself, through the wall of resistance and heaviness of that default veering downward to do those things.  Not all, but one.  And I did that yesterday.  And today I did another.  And I am feeling the feeling of rising again, the lifting.  I’m gonna keep going.

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