4 > 5

This morning while driving my ten year old son Ax to school I asked him, “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” he answered.

“How did you sleep?” 

“Good,” he said.

“Are you looking forward to school?” I asked, digging deeper into a cross-examination type conversation pattern I did not want to be using and yet could. Not. Stop. Asking. Closed-end. Questions.  

“Yes!” He replied brightly.

I knew the 7 minute drive would end soon, and I wouldn’t see this bundle of love until the end of the day.  I knew the days driving  him to school and having this forced togetherness would also end soon.  I dug deep.

“So I’m curious,” I parried. “On a scale of 1-5, with one being blahhhh and 5 being yayyyy, how are you feeling?”

“Four.” Fast and definitive.

“That’s interesting.  Do you know what it would take to move it to a five?”

Long pause.  Thinking.

“I don’t really get to a five.” Me, thinking, oh shit my kid is chronically suboptimal.

Him: “Five is like blaaah!!!!” waving his hands around, manic-style. “Four is like, just happy.”

“That is so interesting.  So to you five would be too much? Four is where you prefer to be?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for telling me about that.  I’m going to think about that, how maybe having a goal of getting to five is not as happy as feeling good at four.”

Silence.

We pulled into the school drop-off spot and he grabbed his backpack.

“I love you honey have a great day!” I called.

“Loveyoutoobyeeeee!” As he slammed the car door and ran off to do his day.

I’m gonna keep going.

www.livingeveryminuteofit.com

www.combatcovidstress.com