And I’m Worth It

I pushed the help me button a few weeks ago and I’m still enjoying the effects of that.  Like it took enough of a down to activate some stuff I know - I knew - I enjoyed but didn’t feel justified or worthy or whatever enough to do it.  I won’t discount the kind of self-denial vibe two years of pandemic has fostered.

Close up, protect, defend does make sense when it comes to exposure risk — but it’s not a pleasant stance towards the world and others in general.  Openness feels really good.  Open to the delight of being alive, open to treating my physical body with more care - which for me means taking it easy on the processed sugar and flour and other seemingly self-soothing things that ultimately lead to bloat, inflammation, pudge, and sadness.  

Ramping up - gently - on the walking, yoga, stretching that remind me that even though my life with others is still mainly on zoom I have a body that loves to get out of the chair whenever possible and move all the ways — kindly, for pleasure.

And somehow taking care of my physical self snowballs into more care for my mental self - ya they’re connected - and suddenly I’m making time for mindfulness practices, noticing I’m thinking more appreciative thoughts about the very same stuff that two weeks ago was horrible horrible horrible. And then I’m smiling again, back in the light, back in life.

It’s like that for me, the potency of choice and practice, choice and practice.  And I’m worth it.  I’m gonna keep going.