Grace Happens/ The Gig
A few friends have lost a few friends and family members this past week. Unintentional overdoses. The drug and alcohol “crisis” is not new, but the number of losses all at once so close seems to have sparked my awareness more. I’m grieving, I’m mad, I’m sad, and I’m … clueless as to what to do about it personally.
I mean personally I know what I get to do is show up for those left behind, show up for myself and my family and my own sobriety, show up to try to help others who want to get sober, people who for whatever reason, have found themselves in the prison of addiction to whatever substance.
Today right now I’m focused on the new girl who took my number, called me, and complained she was having trouble connecting with people. We talked for a while, she told me her story, I listened, and told her to call me back. She didn’t. I texted her, just a friendly nudge, but she still hasn’t called back.
If I could wave a magic wand and take away all the mixed up thoughts and actions and chemical mis-alignments and misperceptions and nature and nurture issues that wind people up in the miserable cycle of wanting to feel better and failing to do or not do what it takes to feel better I would. There are a lot of us who’d do that if we could.
I don’t know why some people call back and some people don’t. I don’t know what the smidge of difference, what some people attribute to grace, is between those who make the call, show up to the meeting, say no thanks to the edgy situation, and repeat and repeat and repeat one day at a time until, like magic, there’s relief, there’s that gift of sanity, the ability to connect with others and feel connected with others, and the screeching volume on all that hurt, pain, loneliness, confusion, anger, all the overwhelming stuff, the volume turns down just enough to get in there and get to building our life rather than losing our life. And for me it’s been worth it, really worth it. And I believe it would be for you too, if you’re thinking about making that call or getting some help, I’d for sure give it a whirl. Like, today. Now.
And then for all the people who love someone who they wish they could help or could have helped more I’m with you. I’m grieving with you and I’m feeling the sadness of loss, the sadness of powerlessness over other people and what they do or don’t do. And then, after that, or alongside that, I’m having breakfast, giving my dog a hug, feeling grateful for my life and for those who’ve helped me, and calling back that other girl who did call back. That seems to be the gig. I’m gonna keep going.
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