Standards Readjusted

I’m late to make a lap for my cat Cleo and the pancakes I made yesterday for my son Ax he pronounced, “too dry”.  These are excellent, excellent problems to have.

I have other excellent problems today:  Our home seems to have dipped below even my own minimal standards of cleanliness and hygiene, in other words, the clutter and dirt levels have, I believe, become an actual health and safety hazard.  

My evidence for this is multiple lego-on-floor-related foot injuries as well as actual stepping on glass (which was not as painful as the lego) from where my desktop computer fell over several days ago and the screen cracked.  

When it happened, I picked up the bigger shards under my desk right away, but I guess there were little bits too that wound up in my foot some days later.

And here’s where I’m at these days.  When the glass entered the bottom of my foot I just plucked the splinters out and hobbled to the bath to rinse off the blood.  Then I  put on socks and kept going.  I didn’t vacuum, even then. Didn’t put on shoes.

I probably made snack or a phone call or kept writing this book we’re trying to get out or did some other task that must have seemed more urgent at the time.

I can’t remember ever being busier.  And I’ve been pretty busy.  Yet I have trouble remembering what I’ve done all day by the time bedtime comes.  I’m tired AF and if I say that out loud these days Ax will say, “I know what that F stands for!” with a mixture of glee and disapproval.

Fudge.  There is no privacy.  There is no quiet.  Except when I put the earplugs in and the noise-cancelling headsets over them.  Then there is quiet, but not the quiet I want.  I don’t want to wear headsets.  I don’t want to feel the omnipresence of others.  Princess Wah Wah is so over this Covid-19 moment. The walls closing in.  

Again, these are excellent problems.  Even Princess Wah Wah gets that. People are dying.  People are sick and alone.  People are in financial trouble. 

And I am, right now,  safe, healthy, fed, and so is my family.  And I am incredibly grateful for that.  It is time to get real and do what I need to do to stay safe, keep my family safe.  That’s the whole gig.  

Laundry is bonus. Fun togetherness like people post everywhere is bonus.  Job one is stay healthy, stay alive one day at a time.  That’s the standard of success.  Did I minimize my risk and the risk of others today or not? 

We don’t do beaches or trails or parks.  We have one friend with a tennis court who’s generously said we can come there to get our outdoor play on, without them, and we do.  I’m staying far away from everyone other than our little family and I get to do that. How lucky is that? Super-lucky.

We are strict AF.  So this morning I’m going to feel good about continuing to do job one.  And I can just avoid the glassy corner of the living room one more day, put on my earplugs and headphones and have some breakfast while checking out the birds in our new bird feeder while Ax blares some dinosaur show and Mike blares some Ted Talk or “quick” video conference call.

I suppose I could go outside but the neighbors are loud too.  So I’ll take my family loud over their family loud.  And maybe I’ll vacuum later, or not, and definitely stop beating myself for it taking so long.  

Let that be the worst thing I do this month. Besides I think Ax will do it if I offer him $1.  

All I know is for me it’s time again to readjust the standards. Minimize risk of illness and death, accept consequences and inconveniences of that. I’m gonna keep going.

www.livingeveryminuteofit.com

May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.  May all beings find peace.