Day 5: Patience, Tolerance, Kindness, and Love for My Body

My back feels much much better than it did on Monday when I thought for sure I had a kidney stone or evil alien taking up residence in my body.  Feeling better today, meaning I am constantly aware of pain, even while on muscle relaxants, but the pain is not excruciating, and can sometimes even be described as tightness rather than actual pain pain.  That’s usually after lying on an ice pack for a while, but still!  Ice is awesome.  I’m grateful for ice.  I’m grateful for progress.

So after the tests and a few days of wiggling and icing and avoiding sitting, here’s what I know: I don’t have evil aliens in my body, and I don’t have a kidney stone.  I have a body that needs more time and attention and love if I want it to do what I want it to do.

In other words, if I want to be able to move my friends’ baby grand pianos or hike in our gorgeous hills for hours and hours or be an adequate wrestling partner for our son, some increased conditioning is required.  

And I do want to be able to do those things.  I want to be a fitter version of myself which seems to take more patience, tolerance, kindness, and love than it used to.  I feel like I used to be able to walk into any workout, any physical challenge, and go for it, joyfully, and without risk.  Now I’m basically home-bound as the result of an unfortunate morning yawn/stretch.

So the patience part is I need to stay in recovery mode until I’m really recovered and not push forward as is my old, inappropriate, unhelpful, habit.  The tolerance part is to not beat myself up for being in the physical state that I’m in.  

The kindness part is to forgive myself for getting into this relatively out-of-shape state.  I look okay on the outside, but it’s been a long time since I really challenged myself physically on any regular basis, and this body wants that challenge, needs it, to stay feeling good.  So body, I’m sorry I haven’t put in the daily maintenance you need.  Please forgive me and thank you for the notice.  I’m going to care for you better.  

And that’s the love.  Finding that place, each day, the balance of self-care, care for others, for the community, for the planet.  Putting the current, actual needs of my health and well-being first.  I’m gonna keep going.  

www.livingeveryminuteofit.com