Everything Sucks Glasses

Yesterday, it seemed like everything and everyone had gotten particularly annoying and challenging. I’ve learned that generally means something is up with me. The truth is, I’m a tad under the weather. And feeling a bit crummy physically has gotten to my brain. And me no likey. The fact that it’s me was confirmed last night, when Mike and I were standing in the kitchen together and Ax remarked, “I really like being in kindergarten.” And I said to Mike, “Oh no, he likes being in kindergarten more than being at home.”

Mike just looked at me, like, “Really?” And I said, to Ax, “That’s wonderful honey,” And then to Mike: “Do you see? Do you see what kind of a brain I’m dealing with today?”

And Mike seemed sympathetic yet completely baffled that I could turn a quite lovely statement by our child into a negative, even crushing, condemnation of me and the supremely comfy home environment we’ve tried to create. Mike said, “It’s nice that our son likes kindergarten.” And I said, “Yes, you’re right, of course you’re right.” But I still felt kind of awful. “It’s Friday, TGIF, why isn’t he happy to be home?”

And then I resigned myself to the fact that I just felt awful and I had on my Everything Sucks Glasses and not the Love Eyes I like to wear. I had a malady of body and it was affecting my brain and that was all and it would pass.

I canceled social engagements. I ate the quinoa Mike had made, which was good even if the onions were overcooked and even if I made the mistake of pointing that out and then arguing that I hadn’t meant it as a criticism and Mike should just get over it and not be offended that I observed the onions were overcooked because they were.

He got very quiet the way he does in that I’m-not-feeding-this-fire, not-engaging kind of way and I got into bed and watched Blue Bloods and he came and sat with me and held my hand a bit. And we got to bed on time. Some days my best isn’t all that great but I do my best. I’ll try again today.