Saturday Kiki Day
Saturday!!!! On Saturdays I go to my regular 7:30am meeting and then afterwards Mike usually picks me up and we go out for a breakfast date while my mom has her “date” with Ax which I think involves extreme doting, gifts, and a lot of tasty food items. It’s cute to see her with him, and him with her. They are into each other. She gets all smiley and perky in a way that is particular to being in the presence of her grandson. He revels in her seemingly unlimited fascination with all things Ax. “Look at this! Look at this! Play with me this!”
I’m pretty sure, though I don’t know for a fact, that her answer is always yes. She will read this and let me know later that is not the case that in fact when they went to the toy store or grocery store or rocket store or wherever three weeks ago and he wanted thirty-seven things she only got five things so there. I will commend her for her restraint and apologize for embellishing at her expense. Then we will forgive each other. I will forgive her for spoiling my child and she will forgive me for trying to interfere with that.
This interaction will be much more pleasant than it once was. We have both relaxed a lot. At some point I figured out that it was okay for him to have a different experience with different people, including my mother, and that he would not be confused if he got certain privileges and perks with her that he did not get at home. (Mom, that is not license to let loose. Seriously.)
I also figured out that being a grandma is, in some ways, a more fun gig than being mom and that’s just how it is. She gets to be mostly fun plus some caretaking. I get to be mostly caretaking plus some fun. I love my mom. I’m happy she’s getting this experience as part of her ride. I’m happy she appreciates and enjoys her time with Ax. And I’m happy he’s crazy about her. Saturday mornings with his “Kiki” are a special time he looks forward to all week.
It’s much less complicated when the love exceeds the fear on both sides and both people are willing to work to make things better. Thanks, mom for working with me, for loving me. You are a wonderful grandma (even though you don’t like that term) and a wonderful mother. Happy almost-birthday. We can still get mani-pedis.