12-Step Whirl

My friend Stephanie called me with questions about 12-step life. “So, do you have to go to meetings every day?” she asked.

“There’s no ‘have to’ anything,” I said.

“But, there is an expression, ‘90 in 90’ for the beginning, which means give it 90 meetings in 90 days, minimum, before you make any big decisions about whether or not it’s working, if you like it or not, whether you want to go or not. It’s recommended you give it that much of a whirl to start.

“Then, there are people I know who go only a couple of times a week and people I know who go every day and everything in between. My particular tribe recommends minimum four times a week, even after decades, for optimal performance, just based on what seems to work for us.”

“Oh,” she said.

“Plus, I think it’s worth getting a sponsor, really anyone, who’s read the book and done the steps, early on, rather than waiting around for the perfect person or someone you like or whatever. At most meetings, they’ll ask new people to raise their hands or introduce themselves so old timers can reach out to them. So, if you show up it’s kind of designed to help new people get in the flow.

“So, basically, go to a meeting a day, get a person, get the book, do some assignments, and try not to assess it too much for 90 days. That’s the recipe.”

Today I’m grateful for the strong women in my life who told me this stuff, continue to tell me this stuff, who made themselves available to listen to my ambivalence and fear and skepticism and told me to keep going anyway.

Now I get to do that for others. Life is happening and I’m feeling all the feels, moving along, better than ever, one day at a time, following the recipe. I’m gonna keep going.