Big Girl Pants On!

Oh wow there’s a lot of stuff going on where I go scared little girl instead of capable rational woman person.  Like “Aaaargh! Zoom not working! Netflix not working! Vaccine registration not working!”

And also: “Aaaaaargh! Dog barking! Kid sad! Husband tired! Mom lonely! Friends anxious! Pants tight!”

And: “Aaaaargh Maskless people on the beach! Nazis in the Capitol! No beds in the ICU! New super-strain Covid WTF!”

So when I’m in scared little girl mode I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something to fix all this and make it all better.  And if I’m not fixing it, or if I give up fixing it, I’m bad.

Ironically, the capable woman I am knows I’m not capable of fixing any of this - I can’t change anything that doesn’t involve my own thoughts and actions.  Not the sad & lonely of my loved ones, not the Internet glitch, not the pandemic.  

It’s all really above my pay grade.  That said, when I put my big girl pants on I can look at some of the stuff and take some rational action to make it somewhat better.  Like I can unplug and re-plug that Internet box thingy and see if everything re-sets.  I can call my friend and be nice.  I can decide to avoid the beach if it feels unsafe and I can give to organizations whose mission I support.  And I can stop eating fried potatoes on the regular.

I can do all that stuff, which is real, if I get out of despair and panic and future-tripping, which are not real, but rather creations of my mind.  Yeah, there’s a lot happening.  But right now, in this moment, I’m where I am, and I am safe, loved, quiet, and full of faith that this too shall pass.  I’m gonna keep going. 

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www.combatCovidstress.com