Preschool Rules

My friend Allessandra says she feels like life these days goes better when she keeps preschool priorities: What’s for snack? When is nap? What are we doing for playtime? 

I like a structure and her suggested daily anchors feel useful to me.  I tend to hamster wheel and go go go, especially when it seems like there are challenges to conquer. 

The challenges of today — that I have no idea what’s going on, no idea for how long I’ll have no idea, no way to predict the future — these challenges are not going to be resolved through more effort on my part.  So given that, how do I do my day? 

I see my child is in some ways accelerating (hello, coding) and in some ways  needing a bit more cuddle time and care than he used to pre-pandemic.  I am too.

I’ve been more full-time on than ever before in some ways.  And then some days, like yesterday, I’ve needed  extra doses of kindness just to not feel awful.

Mike could see I was having a hard day: “What can I do to make your day better?” He said, which right there, just the asking, puts him in the Olympic great partner category. 

“Can you make me tea and bring it to me?” I asked.

He did it.  I still felt sad but grateful to have the tea and the partner interested in helping, doing that little something extra to brighten the day and take care of me.

Today I’m going to bring him lunch, maybe.  Or just give him extra hugs.  I’ll respond with patience and kindness when Ax asks me for scissors for the 4th day in a row (they’re in his desk drawer). Maybe me getting his scissors is like Mike getting me tea — sure he could do it himself, but if I can make him feel safe and cared for by helping him with that task it’s a pretty good deal for me).  

We all can use some kind, loving help.  Some support.  And I get to give it and ask for it and receive it. 

I don’t have a lot of time for a full on nap today but right now I can set my alarm for five minutes and do some easy breathing and relaxed sitting.  I can plan a healthy snack and fun activity for us all for this evening.  The hamster wheel style of living that I let myself drift into is no fun, not sustainable, and unnecessary.  I’m learning to be even kinder to myself and others in the face of all this chaos.  I’m gonna keep going.

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www.combatcovidstress.com