Kicking More-itis

The bee sting turned out to be a Yellowjacket bite, which turned out to swell my entire lower leg with itchy, painful redness, which turned out to - I shit you not - have me unable to stand or walk for a couple of days.  It’s day five since the bite and I’ve been taking all kinds of topical and oral meds for the reaction, and icing constantly, and am going to re-enter the land of the living, walking, talking world.  

“The lesson will be repeated until it is learned.” - Ancient saying 

So the teaching of the Yellowjacket bite was, to me, a kind of escalation of the back spasm lesson.  Something deep in me wants me to STOP.  Just stop all this running around.  Stop making my potentially mellow, happy, even-keeled life into a constant stream of must-do’s, not enough’s, and over-commitment.  Girl on the run.  And if I’m not running I’m thinking about running or feeling guilty about not running enough, or towards the right goals, or with the right people.  Even after all this effing personal growth work.  Even after all that still that nasty brain takes the rains and says, “Do More, Be More, Be Better.”

And then I listen and then - the unwanted gift appears - a back seized up, an insect bite that triggers agonizing pain except while icing and elevating.

Ok, I get it, I get it.  Stay put.  Do me.  Be in my own body, my own life, and enjoy it.  De-schedule.  Cut the striving.  Kick the more-itis before it kicks me again.  I’m gonna keep going.

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