Annihilate the Unnecessary

So my friend Lila Lavender Rosequartz and I were at the juice bar the other day and they had this deck of animal spirit cards there we could use.  I pulled the Panther card which said I should, “annihilate the unnecessary.”

And at first I’m thinking about those second choice black leggings, most of which I’ve already Kondo’d but a few of which remain.  And then I’m thinking about the scented candles and lotions I’ve been gifted and don’t use.

And then I get to the big junk drawer in my brain that’s filled with self-defeating, self-loathing thought patterns, ambitions, feelings of lack, all that kind of stuff — yes, still.

And then, “Why the eff is that drawer still full?” And then, “Why haven’t I permanently de-cluttered that drawer yet — what have I been doing if not that during all these years of personal growth self-actualization stuff.  Sheesh!”

And then, “Why do I keep opening that drawer? Why can’t I just beeeee and be in joy and appreciation and lovingeffingkindness toward myself and others  all the time?”

And then: “There it is.” That old - unnecessary - way of being with myself - impatient, intolerant, unkind, unloving.  Basically, the opposite of how I would treat even a stranger, much less a being I was charged with inhabiting in this life.

I’m human.  I have negative thoughts, doubts, fears especially about myself and how I am.  It’s okay.  I can have them and let them pass without pouncing into action or churning into mental spiral because of them.

So then I think, “Okay.  How many things about myself and my life are on my ‘not good enough list’ right now?”  And how many of those things are critical to my primary purpose of taking care of myself, my family, and my community in that order?  None.

Sweet.

I am enough.  I do enough.  I have enough.  Annihilate the unnecessary.  Buh bye negative thoughts, negative self-talk, and feeling less than worthy of this beautiful life as it is.  I’m gonna keep going.

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