It’s not the Birkenstocks

So this lady in the airport, we’ll call her Claire, no - Sarah - was on her cellphone and she was saying, “I know, I know I told you she wasn’t going to like that place .... Did she look at the other place? .... She didn’t like it .... Ok.  [big sigh].  Well it’s her decision. Yes the girl is coming tomorrow and Friday.  Ok.... Ok.... [big sigh] Ok.... Ok. Love you bye.”

And so I said to her, a total stranger, “How old is your mother?”

“84.”

“Uh huh,” I said. 

“She’s been looking at homes for ten years but now she has macular degeneration so it’s ....” and she rubbed her forehead and eyes.

“Uh huh.”  I said. 

“I told my brother we should have done something about this ten years ago.  And now I’m the one who’s dealing even though he lives two hours away and I live across the country.”

“Yeah, you’re the good daughter.”

“Exactly.” She said.

“So is she okay?”

“Well, her vision has gotten very bad so she needs a lot of help.  I took her grocery shopping and she was carrying a bag of groceries and then I noticed milk all over the ground.  

“When I turned around she was on the ground, the milk carton had burst.  She was ok because she fell on the bag of groceries.  But then when I got her up she said she fell  because she was wearing Birkenstocks.  Like she tripped over her Birkenstocks or something.”

“Yeah,” I said.  

“So she’s ok, she’s got help.  But, you know, it’s not the Birkenstocks.”

“Right,” I said.

And then we said our goodbyes and Claire Sarah went to board the plane to her home across the country from her mom and I wondered whether her mom had enjoyed the past ten years not being in one of those places or whether the year she was having now, needing so much help, would have made moving earlier worth it or what.  

I don’t know how many friends I’ve listened to with 80-something and 90-something parents and none of them seem to know how they could have planned better or done better for their parents once they got old old.  

I’m glad that I’m doing yoga again and eating vegan and managing my stress and doing resilience training and volunteering where I think it matters and like that.  And time is passing and I’m glad I’m enjoying this time, my relative youth, while I still have it.  I’m gonna keep going.   

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