The Big White Wall

In the face of a big white wall, I’ve been known to paint on canvas and hang it up.  And my hubby Mike seems to enjoy the results, and so do I. There’s a big white all in our living room however that I’ve left unadorned.  It’s big and it’s central and Evie, my evil inner critic, is quite upset at its bareness.  Its glaring demand for decoration.

I’ve had lots of ideas about what might look good there over the years.  I’ve played with color, texture, shape, size, in my head.  Ethereal.  Vibrant.  Dreamy.  Playful.  Meditative.  Whimsical.

But I haven’t done what I know I need to do to get a painting for the space.  Buy a canvas, pull out the paints, and take a leap.  See what happens.  

Maybe I like the spaciousness of the blank space.  Unfilled, the space can be imagined into whatever I’m in the mood for on a given day.  Then again, we’ve been in this house five years.  It might be time to move in completely.  

Make it feel more settled, less a work-in-progress.  I wonder if a painting would do that?  

Oh right, I know this one.  It’s not the lack of a painting.  It’s the internal unease and sense of - yup - not good enough-itis, that tells me even though I like the big white wall it needs a painting.  

Eff that.  I’ll paint when I want to, if I want to, and I’ll enjoy my big white wall today, as it is.  I live here, we live here.  We are settled.  We are safe.  We are okay.  I am enough.  I do enough.   I have enough.

I’m gonna keep going.

www.livingeveryminuteofit.com

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