The Kindness Club

I feel it. Some kind of letting go of all of it. All the schtick, the sass, the defensiveness, the fear, all the stuff that blocks me from simply existing in the world with a kind and friendly attitude toward everything and everyone, even myself. Just being, breathing, trusting that life will unfold, my day will unfold, my next meal will unfold and it will be okay. I will be okay. I don’t need to fight it or foster it or push or resist it, any of it. I can do what needs to be done, but in a methodical, easy, gentle way rather than a jaw-clenched “Grrrr I’m gonna get on it!” way.

It could be fun. And I’m not going to beat myself up when I divert from that way, I’m just going to notice, and return. Notice, and return. And I can already feel myself thinking, “I hope I return quickly,” like there’s a prize for that, or punishment for not.

The feeling of peace, of okayness no matter what, is the prize. I don’t need to hope I return to it, get all amped up about returning to it. I want to return to it, I know how to return to it, it’s actually a lot easier than the other stuff, so I’m just gonna. Over, and over, and over. And over.

I can relax about it. Be peaceful about being peaceful. Heyyyy! Alrighty then .... I’m gonna keep going.