Home for the Holidays

Home. Some woo woo folks use the word home to talk about something I guess like the true self, the centered place, the conscious/ in reality non-amygdala-outted place. As in, when emotionally hijacked, “I will find my way home,” or, “I know I can come home.” As in, “Wherever I am or whatever is going on outside I can find home in myself.” For me, it’s a lot easier to be serene when the weather outside is good. Sunny, easy breezes, nothing but mellow all around me, everything going my way, nothing controverting my vision of how things should be. Then I’m buoyant. I’m focused on my current incarnation – mom, wife, daughter, sister, blogger, friend, volunteer, student of humanity.

When it’s stormy outside it affects me on the inside. It just does. I get off balance, off-center, and everything that’s important to me – this life I’ve created this way, with these priorities, these routines, suffers. I suffer. Sometimes I suffer a lot. Sometimes it leaks onto those around me.

This Thanksgiving I am staying home for the holidays. Whatever happens I want to receive it from a place of centeredness, calm, patience, tolerance, kindness, and love. That’s better for me, for true me, in any kind of weather. I’m gonna keep going.