Back and Back and Back to Basics

I’ve written more than once about my need to focus on the basics first – sleep, food, exercise, play, work, in the appropriate dosages for me on any given day. That stuff is definitely day by day for me. Routines help. Schedules help. That said, I think I like to have some flexibility so my schedule and routines don’t own me, so I can make room for a special thing here or a person visiting there without getting all discombobulated.

The thing is though, more and more, I’m noticing that when I’m off program I am discombobulated. And what discombobulated looks like for me is a potpourri of grouchy, sad, stressed, short with people, brain spinning out of the present moment, belly hurt, body too lethargic or too speedy revving for the situation at hand.

I don’t want to be that kind of person who’s so sensitive. And over and over, and over, the evidence is suggesting that I am that kind of person. At least for now. I’ve tried the suck it up and have a good time thing. I’ve tried the powernap thing. I’ve stocked the protein bars to gap-fill when nutrition is out of whack. None of it helps me feel right as much as simply doing my daily routine with the basics does.

This morning I woke up like a starter pistol had gone off. I didn’t sleep well, my head was spinning with stuff, and I woke up in that mode. It’s Monday and I’m going to really commit to myself for today to do what I need to do to be in the flow of this particular moment while doing what needs to be done and leaving the rest for another time.

I sat down to meditate for five minutes, setting my phone timer, but about two minutes in I needed to make a list. So I let myself make a list, a long one, in the notes feature, and I re-set the timer for ten minutes.

And I counted my breath and then I got lost and clicked over to calmness and when the timer went off I pressed the button and opened my eyes gently, because I felt gentle not because I was told that’s what to do (though I was told that’s what to do), and I took a very deep breath because I felt like taking a deep breath since there was so much new space in my body and I felt ready.

Now I’m going to make eggs and eat them. I’m getting on basic self-care – care for my true self – like it’s my job. I’m gonna keep going.