Me Want Sizzle!!!!!

A friend of mine the other day was talking about having finally decided on their summer vacation. They are going to Hawaii for two weeks and staying at another friend’s beach condo. It’s still going to have costs, the rental car, airfare, but relatively speaking it’s going to be a good deal. They had to go through some decision-making to get there. Like part of them wanted to go for six-months, or a year, or three months, or maybe not so long, like maybe just five days, or much, much longer, like forever. But ultimately two weeks seemed like a good idea for now and they pulled the trigger, bought the tickets.

I feel like a two-week summer vacation is a generous, but not over-the-top, length of time. In fact, I seem to recall that growing up that was a standard summer trip length of time. But I get why there was some process for them making the decision.

There are a lot of things like that where there are kind of typical ways of doing stuff that don’t immediately seem apparent or appealing. Like it’s still sometimes bizarre and confusing to me that I am married and have a child with my husband and we live in a home that we own and he works a full-time job and I mostly take care of the home and kid stuff. It’s freaky when I break it down like that. But it works.

Sometimes the middle way just feels way too middle of the road. Boring. Conventional. I talk about staying the course and keeping going a lot of the time, and I believe it, but walking it is a whole different ballgame. It’s like the life equivalent of buying a low-cost index fund and holding forever and ever, just like Warren Buffett told me to. The H-word. Hold. Where’s the excitement in that?

It’s like standing on a paddleboard in the middle of a swimming pool. There’s a tiny challenge to staying on, but the bigger challenge is to resist the urge to cannonball off or hop about making my own waves.

There’s that voice that can’t tolerate pleasant okay-ness. Me Want Sizzle!!!! Screw Dang Comfy, Let’s move Somewhere Cool for a year, or forever, or buy land and get a tiny house, or become organic farmers, or start a commune, or, or, or ….

And then something happens usually if I don’t do any of that stuff and I do the holding thing, the staying the course thing, where I look around and I think, “Thank Gd I didn’t blow this up.” Thank Gd I am sticking with this incremental game of life. Staying on the paddleboard, not jumping off, keeping it going through the ups and downs and ups again. Watching emotions pass through like weather.

Universe: Please help me be willing to let things be as good as they can be, as good as they are. Thank you for my life.