The Right Voice For Me

            Thank you universe, thank you spirit, thank you flow, thank you Gd.  Thank you for my life, for my health, for my family, and for all you do for us.  Thank you.  Thank you for bringing me to Mike and Mike to me.  Thank you for helping me to be comfortable given that there are so many uncomfortable things going on all around me at any given moment.  Thank you for helping me to be joyful in a world full of suffering.  Thank you for helping me to be grateful for all I have and for who I am.  Thank you.

            I’m feeling grateful today, and I’m not going to be suspicious about it or even all that curious about it.  I’m just going to enjoy it.  It feels like something is loosening up, and I’m starting to notice a pattern here:  When I overcome my resistance and take action towards something I want to do, gently, kindly, but persistently, it feels pretty good.  Like I got this book about writing, the “War of Art,” that’s written by a Marine.  I read about half of it before realizing I was starting to feel pretty bad. 

            I’m not saying it’s a bad book, but it’s bad for me.  A good friend of mine is completely inspired and jazzed by it.  Not me.  So, ok, that’s fine, but there is some learning for me in that discerning process – and I’ve gotta also note some personal progress in a) noticing I felt bad, b) putting the book down rather than torturing myself with it, c) discussing with another person to get clarity, and d) lightly seeing what, if any, nugget of helpfulness was on offer from the experience.  That’s what I call Advanced. 

            Here’s the nugget: I gotta encourage myself with the right voice for me.  The right voice for me is not that of a Marine, it turns out.  The right voice for me is the voice of perhaps a doting and adoring cool auntie.  One that recognizes and validates all my feelings of lethargy, fear, sloth, and hedonism and gently, kindly, helps me move forward anyway.  Like, “Oh sweetie I know it would be so nice to lay in bed all day eating pineapple chunks and watching reruns of the West Wing but you’ll feel even better if we do xyz first.”  Something like that rather than, “Get up you lazy good-for-nothing and be productive!”

            So I’m gonna dose up on what I know helps me enjoy this precious life more today.  I’m gonna meditate, eat good food, get some exercise, practice kindness towards others and towards myself, enjoy my family as they are, and take care of some admin that’s been piling up crying for attention.  Yes, it will feel so good to get that done.  I can do it.  Gently, bit by bit.  And then perhaps some pineapple.