More Hum, Less Buzz

What would it feel like to be a beloved baby in the arms of a loving, powerful, all-providing parent? Cozy, safe, warm, easy, full belly, snoozy, trusting. All that kinda pink fluffy love feeling.  That’s how it is for me.

Now, obvi I’m not actually that, but one cool feature of being human is I can imagine myself in that comfy place and automatically my breathing slows, my heart rate slows, my belly softens, my jaw slacks, and all the physical manifestations of relaxation kick in.  Because I’m imagining - thinking myself - into that scenario.  Another freaky fact is some people some of the time can slow or relax or pleasant-up their thinking thoughts by doing stuff with their physical bodies that mimics relaxation.  Like if I actively slow and deepen my breath, lower my shoulders, unclench my teeth, let my forehead sink, eyes relax, sometimes my thought-buzz monkey mind mellows out and goes more like hummm.

Deep breath, just one. Maybe phone down, just one. Eyes closed … It’s okay to let go of all of it for a little bit, maybe a minute, maybe more. I get to come back to whatever I want to come back to.  Or maybe, like they say, like I’ve experienced, practicing feeling okay one moment at a time makes that okay place more accessible all the time, like as a default.

Personally I am so exhausted so much of the time these days from my own brain race I forget I have everything I need to feel better right now, just for now, regardless of what’s going on in the world, with other people, with my various aches and pains, with whatever.  I’ve fallen off the mindfulness wagon, which happens, but I’m getting back on. I’m gonna keep going.